"that girl"

I think we need to talk about the phrase “that girl.”

If you don’t know, “that girl” is the kind of girl on social media who seems to have her whole life together. She wakes up at 6 am every day, she drinks water with lemon, she meditates, she works out and makes green smoothies and has perfectly neat school notebooks. She is busy but always has time for self care. She is too busy “working on herself” to care about anyone else, and her life is not only a happy one, but also incredibly aesthetically pleasing. She is physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy, to an extreme.

Major disclaimer: “that girl” does not exist. No one has a perfectly organized house all the time, no one eats a 100% healthy diet, no one works out every single day, and no one is always confident and content with themselves.

Remember: social media is a highlight reel. Those girls who seem to have perfect lives? They don’t. They just post their best moments, which make their lives seem perfect.

Also, self-love journeys are not pretty all of the time, in fact, they aren’t pretty most of the time. I’ve recently been on one of my own as of the last six weeks or so. I made goals; journal everyday, delete all my social media, drink more water, use positive affirmations, start my blog(!!), read more, and actively try to care less about what others think of me.

I’ve had good days where working towards these goals are easy and fun. I’ve also had not-so-good days where I didn’t do all I wanted to and I felt tired and irritated in the things I did do. Progress isn’t linear, but growth can be.

Let me give you an example to explain what I mean by that. Let’s say you want to journal every day. About two weeks into setting this goal, you have a day where you are extremely tired and unmotivated, so you don’t journal. While this might not be considered “progress” because you didn’t complete your goal, it can still contribute to your personal growth. Take time to reflect. How do you feel about not journaling? Did it make you feel more stressed or relieved? Did it make you realize that it might be more viable for you to journal every other day instead of every day? Or did you find that you missed doing it and you want to complete an even longer streak of doing it every day?

See? You still learned something about yourself and you grew by doing that.

So, the next time you come across an influencer who seems to have the perfect life, remember that she has ugly s*** too. Perfection will never be achieved, so just try your best to do a little better in something every single day. That’s all you need to make you “that girl”.